Working in the corporate world naturally comes with a copious amount of challenges especially for women hence the very appropriate metaphor of 'the jungle'.
It’s like a corporate warfare on the daily, presenting you, the she-warrior with every reason to loose your mind at every other turn. It really is a game of hunter-hunted. I’ll explain a few of the “ways of the jungle” that really grate my cheese. Trust me there are many but I’ll just share three of them.
1. Men have exclusive camaraderie’s
Men form these tight little clans that, as far as I’m concerned, are based on nothing! Well, actually they’re based on sport, beer and scratching inappropriate body parts at inappropriate times. Ok I’m kidding. Seriously though, men in the work place make connections that are impenetrable by us women, no matter how relevant, intelligent or “on the same level” we may be.
Classic example: You walk in on Monday morning ready and revving to go for that early morning brainstorm you were scheduled for. You’re confident that ideas you have (as a base) are of great insight and will add value, plus your brain is in the right shape to burn some creative rubber. The conversation goes like this:
Woman: (walks up while cringing because the guys are congregated around someone’s desk discussing the state of Arsenal lately) “Hey guys”
Guys: (Awkward pause followed by) “Hey Nkgabi”
Woman: Where’s this brainstorm happening?
Guys: “Oh that. No, don’t worry about it man we sorted it out this weekend.
Woman: Where, when?
Guys: No, err... we all met for a brainstorm just before the game yesterday, we didn’t think you’d want to come during the weekend.
Woman: So… what now?
Guys: No it’s done don’t worry about it.
The result of the above is one of the most frustrating feelings I’ve ever experienced. It’s so insulting on so many levels. You just can’t break into their team, and as a result you’re falling behind with work and being robbed of any creative influence. Grates my cheese!
2. Everyone expects you to fit a mold
You walk in there and everyone’s mind is made up about you. You are one of about three things on their list. This is even worse when you’re a black woman in a field that is predominantly white male dominated. It’s as if they spend the first few months playing “fit the shape in the correct block” with your personality.
You might be the really ghetto, loud and boisterous type. Always ready for, and up to date with office gossip. You might play Solitaire all day and get mad at anyone that asks you to do your actual job etc. Yes, you might be that type.
Some time passes and no, you’re not quite like that. So maybe you’re the Suburban- raised, private school educated, entitled, self-serving, connected via daddy type.
No? Ok then you’re probably … And the guessing madness goes on. The thing that get’s my knickers in a knot is that while the guessing is going on, you get treated how they think you are. It’s like schizophrenia. You get every kind of silly nickname from Mabhebeza to Doll-face. Really?
3. You’re almost expected to fail
Like I said in the above observation, the assumptions are unrelenting. One of the ones that hurt me the most though is the fact that you feel that people expect you to fail. You feel it most when you do something basic correctly and people react like you have accomplished something ground shattering. It’s as if they’ve all just let out a sigh of relief that “Yes, thank goodness she knows how to type a competent email”. Often it’s so obvious because your male counterparts don’t get the same treatment. It really isn’t a compliment when you say “Well done! You’re an absolute star!” at the top of your voice when referring to some photocopies I’ve just made. Especially not I’m an Honours Graduate in Accounting Sciences. Why are you surprised that I know how to press a button?
There really isn’t enough room on this article to address all the incongruous things that happen to test you in this crazy jungle. It’s survival of the fittest. A bitter game of all or nothing, the victory is sweet though, and that’s why we’re still in it.
I’d hate to play out on a note of frustration and despair so I’ll tell you what I believe. Fight like a woman, not like a man. You can’t beat men at being men, but men certainly can’t beat a woman at being a woman. Often we dismiss our strengths as weaknesses because we play the game by male standards and rules. Let’s dance to our own tune. It’s definitely a lot sweeter. Don’t forget, it’s a jungle out there, but also, don’t let the jungle forget, you’re a Zeena.
Aluta Continua
Nkgabiseng Motau
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